In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali has created a road map to liberation. He defined 8 limbs (steps) on this path. Niyamas (observances) is the second step, and tapas (self-discipline, austerity) is one of the five Niyamas. Practicing tapas is willingly showing self-discipline or austerity to restrain from physical urges and to purify one’s body and mind clearing your path on the spiritual evolution. One sacrifices something that they think they can’t do without. For example, in today’s world not signing on to Facebook would be considered tapas for many. You need to give up something that you feel like you can’t live without. What you give up depends on you, but it should be something you are attached to, and feel like it is a part of your day, maybe even a part of your definition of who you are. I know people who gave up chocolate, watching TV, putting make up on, junk food all together, unnecessary shopping, etc. for a few months. The list can go on. What you want to give up depends on you, but the experience is the same for everyone. You should feel like you are giving up something that is important to you, and living without it should be purifying your body and mind, but should challenge you, should lead to some suffering and pain. Dealing with the challenges and the pain, leads one to work on calming their mind, and helps them to evolve on the spiritual path
Like I said, I first practiced tapas, by giving something up, last year. In the first phase of giving something up, it seemed easy. I felt like I was going to be able to do it a lot easier than I thought. Then, there was a time that I was only able to think about the things I gave up. Those days and nights turned into torture. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to go. Then, I tried to find substitutes to satisfy those cravings. I couldn’t think of anything else, but what I was not supposed to think about. Then I realized that my tapas included not just stopping my physical urges but also my mental urges, and that transformed all my practice.
When you practice tapas, you don’t only give up physically using or consuming the things you give up. You also need to stop thinking about them, stop wanting them or wishing them. Just restraining yourself from the actions is not truly practicing tapas. You also need to stop, and give up wishing it, desiring it, thinking about it. You are not supposed to count the weeks or the days left until the end of your tapas. You should refrain your body AND mind from whatever you are giving up. It took me a while to realize this at first, and it took even longer to put this into practice. Actually, that’s one of the reasons why I kept practicing tapas for different periods of time.
I realized that what was comforting me during the time I was refraining from whatever I gave up was the fact that I knew it will still be there when my tapas ended. Chocolate will still be there even if I don’t eat it or think about it for four months. Coffee will still be served everywhere I go, even if I stopped drinking it. That was giving me comfort during the time I refrained from them, and I basically held on to that thought. Then I thought, what if that wasn’t the case… what about the things that are or will be gone for good? It was death that got me thinking about this.
My grandmother, with whom I was very close, passed away only recently. Death is one of those things; it takes a person away from this world… for good. Even if you believe in reincarnation or spirits, there is still a loss and a longing for the person you have lost… A longing for speaking to that person, laughing with her, sharing your day with her. A longing for the warmth of that person’s cheek, hand, smile… Only the thought of her is left and some pictures… This was a tapas that I didn’t choose but was offered to me.
I realized that by practicing tapas we are actually trying to tame our minds to not get so attached to anything that we feel like we can’t live without…
When we are practicing tapas, we are not supposed to just use pure self-will to keep ourselves stick to our tapas. We are actually trying to change the way we look at things. We are trying to teach ourselves to live without the things that we think we can’t live without. By practicing tapas, we are teaching ourselves to detach ourselves, and teach our mind and soul how to do that. We are using self-will to control our mind, and then to surrender to the happenings of life… That’s another important thing. While we are trying to stick to our tapas, we shouldn’t become too stiff. We better try to find the balance in practicing our tapas, but not by pressuring ourselves or repressing our feelings. One needs to find the balance between self-effort and surrender. The self-effort helps you stick to your tapas, and being able to surrender at the same time makes the journey more smooth. It is better to dissolve those desires instead of repressing them. While you are practicing tapas, if you think of the object that you gave up, then sit down for a meditation. Take deep breaths, and try to face those feelings, and then let go, with softness, and surrender. Face them, instead of repressing them. Acknowledge them, but then let them go.
When we give up things like make-up or chocolate we are mostly actually dealing with the easier part. But it is definitely a good practice. This is a way of preparing ourselves to teach us the skills to control our mind to let go, for when we actually need it, like I do these days… and when those feelings of urge, and desire and longing come up to the surface, close your eyes, take deep breaths, acknowledge them, and then surrender to the universe. That’s what I do every time my eyes get watery with longing for her… Rest in peace grandma…
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