Welcome what you've been rejecting

Yoga is about being connected to our essence. However, if we show discontent to who we are today, then we are denying who we are, basically denying our essence, and moving away from it.  When we aspire to be something else or someone else, we move away from being centered, and direct our focus to outside, and future, to something we are not but want to be. Not accepting ourselves every day the way we are, takes us away from our essence. First we need to be content with who we are. We need to feel gratitude for the things in our life. Not just think it, but feel it deep within. Feeling gratitude for being able to stand on your legs, for being able to see, hear, love, and be loved. Feeling gratitude for every physical, and non-physical things that life offers to you. Feel gratitude, and then you will feel content with who you are, where you are in life, and what you have and don’t have.

            To be healthy as a whole, body and mind, the first step is accepting yourself for who you are.

Don’t compare yourself to others, or even to the way you were the day before. Who you are is happening today, right this minute, and it is only about you and no one else. So, look at today, look at your behaviors and habits. What do you see? To be able to accept yourself as a whole, first you need to see yourself, all of yourself, with all the parts of yourselves. Including the parts that you wish would never see the day of light, all the parts of yourselves that you don’t think is worthwhile to exist on this earth.

There are things about ourselves that we don’t want other people to know or see. First, you need to allow yourself to see those parts of you, and accept them. Acknowledge them. There can’t be full acceptance without first facing and acknowledging every part of you, the best with the worst, without judging but just accepting. How can you expect someone to love you for who you are, when you can’t even love yourself for who you are?

I personally have a hard time accepting myself. Since I started meditation and paying attention to being mindful about my emotions, I came to realize some thoughts and feelings of mine that I actually don’t appreciate. My first response to those thoughts was to treat them like they are not mine. I judged myself, criticized my thoughts and feelings and saw myself as a less of a person. Instead of welcoming them, as they came up more and more to the surface, I wanted to push them away more. It is so hard to be with yourself everyday all day long, and just want to get rid of your own skin and body, because you can’t accept some parts of yourselves. But how can I show so much compassion and understanding to others and not to myself? How can I be so kind to everyone, but not to myself? I decided to look at all the thoughts and feelings that come up, and just observe them, as if they are just thoughts, without identifying myself with them. Then, I didn’t push them away, I didn’t judge them. I greeted them, acknowledged them, and welcomed them saying that all these feelings and thoughts are humane. They are all for people, for us, and one is not better or worse than the other. Those feelings or thoughts didn’t define me: they’re just there like any other. I showed compassion to myself… ah, that was a relief. For once, I was not punishing myself in my head for this or that, for thinking or feeling in a particular way. Not punishing myself… I could exhale. I let myself just enjoy being, without judging. I felt light. So this is how it feels to receive support, understanding, kindness and compassion? Well, it felt nice… But to break the habit of criticizing myself for so many years, takes longer than just one try. Every single day, I catch myself criticizing, and judging myself, feeling like I am not enough. Just realizing all this is the first step. Hopefully in time, the moments that I come to accept myself will happen more often and last longer…

Then if you see a part of you that feels a burden to you, something that actually doesn’t make you feel good, but makes you feel down or upset, something you prefer to change, then find a new way to approach it, maybe make something else your new habit, and break this old one. Take one thing and build it on top of what it is today. This way you would include one more thing, one more habit maybe, to your daily life, but not with the “desire” to become something else. You will just be, and everyday you’ll continue to just be. Maybe that new habit will be a part of your being one day without you desiring to become something you are not.

But today, the first step is to see yourself as you are and befriend all the parts of yourself that you’ve been criticizing.

            There is no such thing as perfect, and there is no such thing as striving for perfection, because there is no such thing as perfect. There is just being. You are sacred. We all are; so treat yourself, and others that way. See yourself as you are, accept yourself the way you are, and love yourself for who you are.

“What we reject out there is what we reject in ourselves, and what we reject in ourselves is what we are going to reject out there.” (Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart)